"Do you see me..."

"...now?"













Americans should be shot

Norwegians should be shot twice.

"I don't think you can be very funny about metal"

According to my facebook social profile I was
"reviewed for dating 235 times and 5 people expressed interest in you.You are more desirable than 50% of 30,358,409 people.

Last week you were viewed 12 times and no people expressed interested in you."´

Is that supposed to be good news? The vast majority of people on the interwebz don't want me, but there are 150 000 000 people that are wanted even less? I find this hilarious.

Been listening to Tiamats latest effort lately. And it is brilliant. I love it. Love it. It brings back memories of when I bought Skeleton Skeletron back in maybe 1999 or 2000 and I just loved it to death. I listened to Tiamat an awful lot for a few years there (and mostly that record), but for some reason I stopped. Or I didn't appreciate them as much as I maybe should. I don't know. But they still remain one of the few bands that have managed to somehow wed anything remotely gothic to metal (the other examples are Celtic Frost, Root, Fields Of The Nephilim and maybe Katatonia) without it becoming a total revelry in cheese, latex pants, disgusting "growl meets opera"-vocals and an all out prettiness.

And as a big plus in my book is that there has always been something satanic about Tiamat (something that is also true for the other bands I mentioned), although there is a sort of Milton-inspired Satan possessing Tiamat. Quite playful and beautiful, yet dangerous and still the Prince of Lies. The Devil shows himself differently in the other bands I mentioned but He is still there, in one aspect or another.

One thing I hate more than everything else when it comes to music is bands and artist that don't dare to take what they do seriously. It is the easiest thing in the world to start a black metal parody band It's like stealing candy from a baby, and just about as challenging. Now, I am not saying that you can't be playful or humorous in what you do (just look at Laibach. Or Tiamat for that matter.) I'm just saying that I am fucking sick and tired of people that don't even try to take their shit seriously. It shows a lack of respect, a lack of guts and above all, a lack of love. Or put in the words of swedish hardcore heroes Anatomi-71: "Ta din jävla glimt i ögat och lämna mig ifred!"

You know...

I love Dead Can Dance and I love this song, but come on! Hippies! I mean , look at them. OK, Lisa Gerrard looks kind of weird in a cool way and Brendan Perry looks like a bum who likes to read books and that's cool. But the rest of them! I bey you a fucking fortune that when they are not playing with Dead Can Dance they are swordmakers or make their own mead or make chain mail armour. Except maybe the guy on the synth/keybord. He got a bit more of a rejected serial killer-look going on. I can respect that.





Other news? I have come to realize that when I am working I spend the whole days alone. I wake up alone and go to bed alone. Talking to no one that matters for days at a time. I am not good company for myself. Not now.

Just wish for... I don't know. I don't know. Anything.

Illness/Alienation

Open letter from Jean-Paul Sartre to the original SPK.

Although the original SPK were of course loons, they were (and are) still interesting. And the letter touched upon quite interesting factors of our world, such as the fact that the capitalist machinery/system builds on and needs illness/alienation (or as it is put in the letter (although it is not Sartre's words), ilnnes and alienation is the "prerequisite and result" of a capitalist system.). In other words, the capitalist system needs us to feel alienated in order to consume so that we by consuming is trying to rid ourselves of the alienation. What the SPK did was taking that one step further and say that mental illness is a form of alienation (if I understand it correctly), that we all are mentally ill and what defines the 'healthy' or the 'cured' is the ability to work (although that is more or less a paraphrase of Sartre's words).

On another note I am listening to the Fixmer/mcCarthy-album "Between The Devil." Pretty good. At times Fixmer's techno influences shine through a bit too much and makes the thing feel a bit stupid (I know, I like VON and Archgoat and shouldn't talk about stupid music), but mostly they keep it under control and make those influneces just sound nice and monotonous. Which I like. No songs that directly stands out but then again, when it comes to electronical music it tends to take a while for me to notice such things. I'm quite surprised at the ability to make the album sound so 'alive' and pulsating, yet quite monotonous. I quite like monotony in music but it has to feel alive and I think they pulled it of somehow. I just can't really put my finger on why.

...and I listened to a new Nitzer Ebb song called "Payroll." It really sucked. All I could think about was Rage Against The Machine when I heard it. Awful. But the thing that made it awful wasn't as much the music as the vocals... I can't really describe it but it sounded old in a bad way. Dated (outdated even!). 15 years after it't time. I hope they don't think it's some sort of hit or something. I actually remember seeing them playing it live and remember thinking "well, this was a bore." And you know what else? They remind me of Venom, however strange it may sound. They played live 6 months earlier, they played mostly old hits and the played a new song that sucked ass and it sounded like "payroll"!!! I mean, the phrasing of the vocals was similar and I remember that I really was a bit disgusted by that song ("House of Pain").

Diabolos In Musica

Music is special. What I look for in music is not something to entertain me. I don't like funny music. I want something to provide me with something extreme and dare me to get through it. I want music to be like a fight, like a fist in the face. I want them to provoke me. I want someone to SAY something to me, to want to communicate something to me. I think that is the problem with a lot of electronic music. I don't feel like someone wants to tell me something. It doesn't feel like a personal challenge. It feels like noise. And I'm not trying to say something insulting with that. I'm not trying to say that the musicians are bad or that they can't write good songs or whatever. I'm just saying that I don't see or hear the musicians. I think that is why I prefer bands with live drums, to be quite frank. Simple trick. Live drums are always a bit untight. People play untight.

I don't know. I guess that if I want to be provoced emotionally in any way it has to be intuitive (meaning, I hear the human behind it) or it has to be quite intellectual (like Laibach). Otherwise I'm bored. I guess that if you like to dance you can enjoy it on another level. But I don't dance. Probably has a lot to do with the fact that I take myself and my facade very seriously. Making a fool of myself is not a possibility. I don't know if I would, but if I think I was I wouldn't enjoy it. So...

Talking about "funny" music, BTW. I'm not trying to say that I only like bands without humor. That is not it at all. But I don't see a line between being serious and having/being fun. Just look at Laibach. Or Einstürzende Neubauten. I think they are funny as hell at times, but that doesn't mean that they are not dead serious at the same time.

But to quote Vim Fuego: "I don't think you can be very funny about metal."
Metal is too often too straightforward, too unintellectual and too serious/"true" to be able to be funny without being plump or stupid. But that is it's strength too. That is why I love it. Very few games. Just a lot of feeling. The pretentions are on a completely different level.

I'm not saying that you can't laugh AT metal. Sure you can. It is easy. But what is the point? You can laugh AT everything. It is just a question of taste. A taste in what you think is funny. Nothing else. Artistic endevours have to be taken for what they are. They have to be looked at subjectively, from the point of what the artwork is supposed to be. They have to be taken as serious artistic explorations. When you have seen them from that point and from the culture that they are meant to work in and you understand or at least accept that you can decide if they work or not. And then you can choose to laugh AT them or WITH them.

Anyway, in the end I hate subcultures (and I love them). Why? because people are sheep. People are idiots. And that goes for every group everywhere every time. You all suck.

Vae Victis

Swedish speaking readers should check out this: http://vedebesegrade.blogspot.com/2006/02/vi-historiefrfalskare-behandlas-olika.html About revisionism and holocaust "denial" and why it is totally silly to ban it.

Otherwise: Akitsa and Thesyre rules my world. Totally brilliant canadian black metal. Canada, eh? Feels strange, but I guess it's just about as strange as black metal coming from sweden. However, check it out. Thesyre is really good, but I must say that Akitsa is almost magical. Check out "magie et veritas" on their myspace. The drums are incredibly simplistic, but really good (sort of. I like it.).

Brutality & Bloodshed

Not even 24 hours left to Celtic Frost. Can't believe that I am finally going to see Celtic Frost!



For those of you out there that hasn't understood it yet I really like Celtic Frost.

Otherwise GG Allin rules my world right now. And Rupture probably would to, if they were better. As it is it's just power violence. Still, you gotta appriciate a band that names a 7" "Soap Farm" and where the cover is a picture from a concentration camp. And then they dedicate it to the SS. You really gotta like a band that becomes a nazi band just coz they wanna piss people of even more. And I really find the fact that they became a bit Oi!-influensed around that time really funny. Probably to sound even more nazi.


Got a computer. My own. First time in years. I have now experienced the wonderful world of file sharing. I am never buying an album again in my life. Well, thats not true. I'm never going to buy a bad album again. And I've already seen season 2 of Rome! Wasn't as brilliant as season 1, but hey... I'll live.

FUBAR

More or less the story of my life right now. Started with the cat tipping over a glass of milk over the computer. Things to follow: failed test, writing an essay I don't understand shit about, hating my new class (not all of it but substantial parts), not having any money and still they run through my hands like sand, shoes breaking, a cat who won't heal, feeling more like a social misfit every day and so forth. Not to mention that my girlfriend is extremely pissed of at me for leaving that glass of milk at the desk.

Things that have brightened my life is the fact that I am going to Belgium (home of childmolestors and the deep fried snickers) to visit a friend. That will be very nice. Another thing is the almighty GALLHAMMER (http://www.gallhammer.com). Three chicks from Japan playing Hellhammer/Amebix-y black metal. Insanely good.

Oh, and I got a new computer. It's my baby. Got it this morning. It is really beautiful. A sleek, black macbook. Got a lot of nifty special effects.

Black Metal Militia

So.

I studied for my test this friday. Slept for maybe 4-5 h before, went and did the test (hard as hell), went home and tried to sleep but I had too much caffein in my system so I couldn´t sleep. L got home, we made dinner and such and then I met up with O for some beers and shit with the rest of my class. Ended up with me getting into bed at 4 in the morning. Was supposed to be at work at 10, but overslept a bit. Woke up with a cigarette burn mark on my finger. Went to work. Worked (total hell) until 5. Got home at around 6 in the evening, crashed on the couch for a couple of hours. Woke up. Tried to eat something. Went into town to see Nice Idiot and Sanctuary In Blasphemy with a storming head ache around 9-10. Drank a beer and was a bit bored by SIB. Met up with some friend at the gig (that was nice) and went to Watains release party. Strange place and strange party. It was in the back room of Engelen, wich ment that there was a whole lot of "normal" people + a bunch of smelly metal heads , devil worshippers and neonazis. Fucked up. And the audience at the release party... It was like it was The World Championship in "Evil Shirts, Manly Tattoos and Stupid Macho Poses". And I got a bunch of evil shirts and manly tattoos (not that many macho poses, though) and I just really felt out of place. So we stayed there for maybe two hour (bought the new Watain CD. Totally brilliant, as always.) and I drank another beer. Met up with some people at the subway and talked a bit (talked with K and that is always nice. We always seem to be on the same wavelength. But that also means that we have a hard time hooking up, since we are both quite antisocial) and went to meet up with L. Then we took a cab home, went to bed. Woke up and went to work. Worked. Came home and watched "From Dusk Till Dawn" and went to bed. Was supposed to be in school at 9 am but overslept. Came at the second class att 1 pm and started the whole thing out by really getting bugged out by some of my new class "mates." One guy stared at me every chance he got. I swear, if he keeps it up I'll kick his ass. Really bugs me. And some fucking carrot top opened up a window next to us and went to sit at the other end of the room and when class was over he got all bugged 'coz I closed the window.

This is not a good period in my life. Probably not gonna pass the test. FUCK!


BUT:

You really need to check out Watains new album, "sworn to the dark". It's brilliant. It might not be too extreme musically, but the ideals behind the band... I have never known anyone so devoted to practice what the preach. It is truly amazing. The wholeness, from the live performances, to the T-shirts, to the homepage layout, to the album artwork, to the lyrics, to the music... It is so incredibly... It all works together and there is nothing there that isn't supposed to be there...

Hurra Torpedo

I got a problem. I started this blog so that I really could open myself up and write about everything. But I only write shit. Does that mean that I don't have anything to say? That there really isn't anything more about me? I'm starting to think so.

"this here sugar's much sweeter than Mary Jane..."

"...this here bitch is muthafucking crack cokaine."


Ok, part II of the never ending story of ordering shit online. Turns out La Coka Nostra (House Of Pain + Ill Bill + whoever.) done some zip hoodies, which kind of makes things a bit difficult. 'Coz I was gonna buy an Inquisition, but I'd rather support LCN ('coz LCN and Ill Bill are fucking awesome! His latest mix-cd is probably the only thing I listen to with any regularity.). And the LCN-hood is better looking. Only problem is that the Inquisition-hoodie is pretty fucking nifty and probalby more limited than your mommas virginity was.

People in the Thirld World nagging about not getting any food... They should grow up and realize that there are people with real problems in this world. :)

Anyways, check out their myspace-pages and give it a listen.

Money, money, money...

Ok, so I got my Cult Of Daath CD ("Slit Throats And Ritual Nights") and it's awesome. Great mix of black metal and punk. Even some D-beat thrown in there for good measure. Gotta pass it along. Got the VON-shirt to, but I've already been ranting about that one.

So, my problem for the day is tthe fact that I wanna order a whole bunch of shit from Hells Headbangers (corny name, but brilliant distro) and Hiberica, but I really doubt that I have the funds to do so. I ain't gonna order the things now, but when my paycheck arrives, but even then I can't really see how I'm gonna afford it. And I have really narrowed it all down to just the essentials. It really annoys me. A lot of the things I want is clothes (T-shirts and hooded sweatshirts) and you know... I need more warm sweatshirts, 'coz it's cold here during the winter (yeah, right. Thanx to global warming it's about 5 C warmer in New Delhi than it is in Sthlm.) and all. You can do that, right? It's not lying, right?

On another note I handed in the worst essay in the history of history studying. I am really ashamed of it, but it was the best I could do. I've been busy, you know? Been doing a lot during the 2-3 weeks I've been free from school, you know with like watching Simpsons and shit. Oh, and another thing. I got a 6000 word essay to write about the muslim countries early history by friday and I got the books today. I am so close to fucking this up.


And on a really positive side note my love for NunSlaughter has emerged again. Maybe not so much because of their musical capabilites, which is quite good (although the tend to repeat themselves too much and they really should cut down on the production pace and just throw some of the tracks they've made in the garbage can.) but because they are honest, humble and (cheesy but still) true. Seriously.