"I don't think you can be very funny about metal"

According to my facebook social profile I was
"reviewed for dating 235 times and 5 people expressed interest in you.You are more desirable than 50% of 30,358,409 people.

Last week you were viewed 12 times and no people expressed interested in you."´

Is that supposed to be good news? The vast majority of people on the interwebz don't want me, but there are 150 000 000 people that are wanted even less? I find this hilarious.

Been listening to Tiamats latest effort lately. And it is brilliant. I love it. Love it. It brings back memories of when I bought Skeleton Skeletron back in maybe 1999 or 2000 and I just loved it to death. I listened to Tiamat an awful lot for a few years there (and mostly that record), but for some reason I stopped. Or I didn't appreciate them as much as I maybe should. I don't know. But they still remain one of the few bands that have managed to somehow wed anything remotely gothic to metal (the other examples are Celtic Frost, Root, Fields Of The Nephilim and maybe Katatonia) without it becoming a total revelry in cheese, latex pants, disgusting "growl meets opera"-vocals and an all out prettiness.

And as a big plus in my book is that there has always been something satanic about Tiamat (something that is also true for the other bands I mentioned), although there is a sort of Milton-inspired Satan possessing Tiamat. Quite playful and beautiful, yet dangerous and still the Prince of Lies. The Devil shows himself differently in the other bands I mentioned but He is still there, in one aspect or another.

One thing I hate more than everything else when it comes to music is bands and artist that don't dare to take what they do seriously. It is the easiest thing in the world to start a black metal parody band It's like stealing candy from a baby, and just about as challenging. Now, I am not saying that you can't be playful or humorous in what you do (just look at Laibach. Or Tiamat for that matter.) I'm just saying that I am fucking sick and tired of people that don't even try to take their shit seriously. It shows a lack of respect, a lack of guts and above all, a lack of love. Or put in the words of swedish hardcore heroes Anatomi-71: "Ta din jävla glimt i ögat och lämna mig ifred!"

Et tu, Brute?

Genesis 3:4:
And the serpent said unto the woman, ye shall not surely die:

Genesis 3:5:
For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.


There is a reason I got a couple of snakes tattooed.

I Väntan På Gud

I just realized something. I want to go for a quest. A quest for God. I want to find Him. I have spent time in the forest, and I almost thought He was near. I want to go to Israel, to Jerusalem. To see if He is really there. What His affinity for that place is. I want to go to Arabia, to see what is hidden in the desert wind. I want to go to the steppes of Central Asia to see what Attila and Genghis saw. I want to go to Transylvania to se what made people sacrifice each other in thse woods. To see what Vlad Dracula saw. I want to go to persia to see what Zarathustra saw, to the Middle East to what compelled Abraham, to Egypt so learn of Akenatens experiences, to Mexico to see the Aztecs dreams. I want to spend more time in my own peoples woods to understand what compelled them to hang people in the crown of a tree as a sacrifice. What made Odin sacrifice himself to himself. No, I know it was the runes, I mean what made him to it? The chief ot the Gods realizing that he too has to sacrifice to gain something.

Are these acts and these people and these creatures what we think of when we speak of God? I think not. But if God is almighty these people saw him. These acts of horror, genocide, blood and cruelty are Gods work.

Or as Elie Weisel (a man I rarely agree with) writes in his play The Trial Of God:

"...but let one killer kill for God's glory, and God is guilty. Every person who suffers or causes suffering, every woman who is raped, every child who is tormented implicates Him."

Or as Algernon Swinburne wrote in Atalanta In Calydon:

"Who turns the large limbs to a little flame
And binds the great sea with a little sand;
Who makes desire, and slays desire with shame;
Who shakes the heaven as ashes in his hand;
Who, seeing the light and shadow for the same,
Bids day waste night as fire devours a brand,
Smites without sword, and scourges without rod;
The supreme evil, God.

Yea, with thine hate, O God, thou hast covered us,
One saith, and hidden our eyes away from sight."

If God is almighty I cannot see how he can be "all good" (if one does not think that an act of God is per definition good. I don't. How can you justify genocide, rape and murder when you are almighty? There is an easy way to solve it then, isn't it?). He seems a bit likean "angry, petulant old man", in Tennesee Williams words.

But I still want to find Him, even if he is not all good. If He exist. I really doubt that. At the moment I don't believe in him at all. As a matter of fact I outright deny him and most spirituality as a matter of principle.

But I still want to find Him. Go figure.

Christianity has really fucked us up. Our sense of morals and values have really fucked us up.

Metal, Madness & Beyond

GodDAMN!

I'm really metal right now. :) Ok, I've had long hair for like 7 years or something, and I always wear band-shirts (usually metal bands) but I recently discovered my old leather jacket with a big POSSESSED-logo on the back. So It's leather jacket, bullet belt, bathory shirt, tight jeans, chucks and Mercyful Fate in the iPod 24/7 right now. In a strange way it feels like I'm home. Kind of strange, because I usually detest people that look too much like what they are. You know what I mean.

Other than that... Was at my familys place over the easter. Kind of sucked. Nice to spend time with my brother & sister, but I feel kind of out of place with my parents. Like we are on different islands or something. Makes me feel really different. I have always felt different, always been different, but I don't like to feel like that with my family, you know?

Plus me and my aunt followed traditions and got in to a religious fight. She can believe in all that new age hocus pocus all she wants (lord knows I have a couple of spiritual views that ain't exactely "normal"), but when she starts talking about "cellular memory", "energys", "kundalini powers" and stuff that ALL has something to to with the physical world and our physical body... You are starting to get in to the realms of physics and science and then you gotta be prepared to prove what you are talking about. You know what I mean? IF cells have a memory then you should be able to find that memory (or at least the function of that memory), shouldn't you? But you can't. The reason that new age fucks are using scientific terminology is for the same reason that people advocating "intelligent design" are trying to use it.

I, on the other hand would say that the mixture of science and religion is only to the detriment (spelling?) of faith. It destroys faith, it destroys the basis of religion. If God is proven, where is the free choice? I would argue that God is an evil fuck, and if his existence is proven I'll hate him even more (I'm a maltheist, you could say.), but that is another issue. I would also argue that to explain the divine in terms of science or in physical terms is to limit our understanding of the divine. We're dumbing it down.