"this here sugar's much sweeter than Mary Jane..."

"...this here bitch is muthafucking crack cokaine."


Ok, part II of the never ending story of ordering shit online. Turns out La Coka Nostra (House Of Pain + Ill Bill + whoever.) done some zip hoodies, which kind of makes things a bit difficult. 'Coz I was gonna buy an Inquisition, but I'd rather support LCN ('coz LCN and Ill Bill are fucking awesome! His latest mix-cd is probably the only thing I listen to with any regularity.). And the LCN-hood is better looking. Only problem is that the Inquisition-hoodie is pretty fucking nifty and probalby more limited than your mommas virginity was.

People in the Thirld World nagging about not getting any food... They should grow up and realize that there are people with real problems in this world. :)

Anyways, check out their myspace-pages and give it a listen.

Money, money, money...

Ok, so I got my Cult Of Daath CD ("Slit Throats And Ritual Nights") and it's awesome. Great mix of black metal and punk. Even some D-beat thrown in there for good measure. Gotta pass it along. Got the VON-shirt to, but I've already been ranting about that one.

So, my problem for the day is tthe fact that I wanna order a whole bunch of shit from Hells Headbangers (corny name, but brilliant distro) and Hiberica, but I really doubt that I have the funds to do so. I ain't gonna order the things now, but when my paycheck arrives, but even then I can't really see how I'm gonna afford it. And I have really narrowed it all down to just the essentials. It really annoys me. A lot of the things I want is clothes (T-shirts and hooded sweatshirts) and you know... I need more warm sweatshirts, 'coz it's cold here during the winter (yeah, right. Thanx to global warming it's about 5 C warmer in New Delhi than it is in Sthlm.) and all. You can do that, right? It's not lying, right?

On another note I handed in the worst essay in the history of history studying. I am really ashamed of it, but it was the best I could do. I've been busy, you know? Been doing a lot during the 2-3 weeks I've been free from school, you know with like watching Simpsons and shit. Oh, and another thing. I got a 6000 word essay to write about the muslim countries early history by friday and I got the books today. I am so close to fucking this up.


And on a really positive side note my love for NunSlaughter has emerged again. Maybe not so much because of their musical capabilites, which is quite good (although the tend to repeat themselves too much and they really should cut down on the production pace and just throw some of the tracks they've made in the garbage can.) but because they are honest, humble and (cheesy but still) true. Seriously.

Hammer of Antichrist

That's the name of the Conqueror discography CD, and it is fucking awesome. Relentless, brutal, heavy, uncomfortable. Not as much as mr Reads later project Revenge that sounds much the same except even "worse", but still. Don't know which one I prefer, Revenge or Conqueror. With some sadness I think I'll have to say Conqueror. Conqueror is a bit more diverse and (dare I say it?) melodic. Not to say that it is at all melodic, but I think you might understand what I mean. Revenge is in your face audial rape without any kind of (as we say in swedish) krusiduller all the time, which makes it great in it's extremity, but after a while a bit... unchallenging? Conqueror are also in your face audial rape, but with a minimum (if there is a word for something less than "minimum" that isn't a synonym for "nothing", please let me know) of krusiduller. We'll see if it is C or R that wins this. I haven't really given Conqueror a chance before.

On the plus side Revenge has Peter Helmkamp. I'd reckon that Pete and I don't really share (and probably worse than that) that many views, but there is still something I really admire about him. If nothing else his uncompromising attitude towards metal, and the fact that while many of his lyrics and works are (for a metal guy) quite intelligent and intellectual, he has never wimped out. Quite the contrary in fact. Id you don't believe me, listen to Order From Chaos and then listen to REVENGE


I also got Archgoats new album. Totally brilliant and retarded. You can tell they are from Finland. I really really like this record (aptly titled "whore of betlehem"). Give it a try. It is totally ugly, disgusting and horrible. And a bit stupid, musically. Fans of good sound and fancy drumming, "singin" and guitarwork should stay away. This is about as straight forward as it gets.

"let's not chat about despair"

Everybody's so disgusting. All so called "alternative" people behaving and being exactly like "normal" people, the only difference being clothing, politics and (sometimes) the sexlife. But no one dares to really go against the grain, to be really different. To dare to change their morals, to dare to tip the holy cows over. People are people? No. People are cattle. Humans are pack animals. Sure, not so much as sheep or dogs or horses, but still... We don't like to go against the grain. We will succumb to peer pressure. We will follow leaders. We want to. Do you not feel it? The relief when someone else tells you what to do? How joyous it is not having to think. Hitler was right, you do know that?

"How fortunate for leaders that men do not think."

-Adolf Hitler

And we don't want to think.

”To judge from the notions expounded by theologians, one must conclude that God created most men simply with a view to crowding hell.”

Seriously. I really really hate religious people. Not because I am an atheist (wich I'm not, in the strictest sense), but because being religious is (as all ideologies) cowardly. Not cowardly because it gives these people an after life or something to believe in or a goal, but because it gives them an identity. It gives them an identity as a group. It also gives them the notion that since god has spoken to them their group/morality/identity is the real McCoy and applies to the rest of humanity and every other way of looking at the world is... Well... The work of Satan? To many of them are just to into it for the rules, for the identity (despite what they say).

Shit. It just comes out as shit. It is as clear as crystal, but it comes out as shit. I clearly need to get my vocabulary going.

I hate humanity for being weak. For being stupid. For being cowardly. And I hate the god that created us like this. Such a creature cannot exist. And if it does, it must not be worshipped. It is either weak and wrong and defect, or (if it truly is omnipotent, omnipresent and other things starting with omni) it is not benevolent towards us.

”All is not lost; the unconquerable Will
And study of revenge, immortal hate,
And courage never to submit or yield:
And what is else not to be overcome?
That Glory never shall his wrath or might
Extort from me.”

John Milton's ”Paradise Lost”

That said I really like people like Rabia Basri , and I have been thinking about tattooing a quote from her on my hands (whenever that might happen).

“Anything beyond the limits and grasp of the human mind is either illusion or futility; and because your god having to be one or the other of the two, in the first instance I should be mad to believe in him, and in the second a fool”

-Marquis de Sade (as is the quote in the headline)

"Say hello to my little friend"

So. My brother get's bullied in school. Actually, he got beaten up the other day. He got beaten up 'coz he tried to take back his stolen cell phone. And the school's done shit for him so far. So I don't really know what to do. My immediate reaction is of course to get out to that little backwoods shitty town and kill somebody. Been thinking about crucifixion, or something like that. Nailing people up to a wall or a tree or something, it's very poetic. Don't you think?

But the school is going to report this shit to the police. So I guess I should give that a chance. The only problem is that it seems lika the person doing the acual bullying is only a helper. That there's some kid being some kind of mastermind. He threatend my brother at one point. But my brother don't wanna talk about it, so we don' really know that much. So we can't really do that much.

Shit.

Well, anyway... If things don't get really improved by march, me and a friend of mine (who, by the way can be quite violent, and definitely look really violent) are going to sort things out. Violent will not be used, however. We are just going to show the little fuckers what can happen. Or something. Don't really know right now. It's not like there's a plan. Hopefully there won't be a need for a plan.

I'm watching "Heathers" with My Baby right now. Not a brilliant movie, but it's kind of liberating wachting it since the main characters kills the popular kids (AKA bullies) in school. People (=grown ups) don't seem to realize that school is NOT a wonderful place where you learn about math and shit. It's a fucking horrible place where you learn the fucking law of the jungle. Might is right and so on. But hey, what ever makes you happy. It's still just a place to keep kids while the adults work or whatever. It's basically a storage.

Just ordered a VON-shirt, in size small!
Beat that. First of all, VON-shirts are NOT that easy to find. And to find a metal shirt in size small is not easy. Easier than finding a VON-shirt, but not easy.

I have a shirt with only the backprint, but on the front, and in brighter red (and I think there's some silver) but it's in something like size XL or even bigger. Just bought it 'coz it's a VON-shirt. They are not that common, remember? Anyways, just wanted to tell y'all.

Bought a (offical!) Profanatica-shirt to. And the complete Profanatica discography 2LP and some Nunslaughter-stuff (shaped CD, shaped pic-LP), a Conqueror-discography CD, some patches,a Cult Of Daath CD, the new Archgoat Cd and some shit that I don't remember. Just about the only fun stuff that's happend to me in a while.

Had a fight with My Baby. I don't talk enough, apparently. I want to change that but I really don't know how. I don't. I'm really scared. I can't lose her. I'd be destroyed. But I think we worked shit out. At least for now. But it's next time I'm worried about. Maybe I should give her the adress to this blog? Don't think so, actually. This is a refuge of sorts, where I don't have to think about other peoples opinions. And believe me, we haven't even started to scratch the surface.

But I got my cats.

FTW, over and out.

"I kill a communist for fun, but for a green card, I gonna carve him up real nice."

Not much hate today. The day has been good. Except for the fact that I got like 2 hours of sleep last night. Don't really know why, but it wasn't fun going to work.

Scarface on the TV now. Brillian movie. One of the best ever made. Everybody in it is so repulsive. Weak. Greedy. Shallow. Small. Very human. Gotta find somewhere to put my Scarface-patches.