Kali Yuga

”O Kali, thou art fond of cremation grounds
So I have turned my heart into one, that thou
may dance there unceasingly.
O mother, I have no other fond desire in my
heart. Fire of a funeral pyre is burning there.”

-Ramprasad Sen




And before anyone gets any silly ideas, I know the goddess Kali has nothing to do with the demon Kali and the Kali Yuga but the linguistic confusion is quite apt, and if one where so inclined it could point one in to quite a new and interesting direction.*


* Kali (the goddess) and Kali (the demon) are two unrelated words in sanskrit meaning two different things and pronounced quite differently. More info in the links provided above.

Sleepless Death

This night didn't work out any better. My mind wouldn't stop spinning around. The nights topics was quite constructive, though (mainly it dealth with how to combine and justify the many different influences and elements my little life philosophy (a philosophy who seem to creep in to everything I do, lately. So it's kind of important that I do find justification for it all and also that I find som sort of center, some sort of schwerpunkt.) is made up of.). Still, I don't have time for that. Would have loved to fall asleep and be able to get up early instead of falling asleep really late, sleeping unsteadily and manage to oversleep my own deadline, but that didn't happen. So now I am here. In the evening. And I have done abolutely nothing constructive with this shit.

God, I got to get my act together. This stuff is due monday, and I'm working friday and saturday so I don't exactely have that much time left, now do I?

I'm so worried all this will crumble down over me.

Don't got time for this. There is work to be done! Cry havoc and let lose the dogs of war!

Deathless Sleep

I can't sleep properly. If I go to bed and I am not totally exhausted I wont fall to sleep. At least not at night, when I am supposed to sleep.

Thoughts. Pop up all the time. Quite a lot of violent thoughts. I hate bullies. Worst thing in the world. And these thoughts make it even harder to fall asleep. And then I think about other things to, of course. The don't help out that much either. Even when they are not worries of sime kind, or just worries of a general kind (the weight of the world etc.), the fuck me up. Totally worthless.

I hope tonight works out better. Forced myself to get up a bit earlier. Feeling really bad right now. Tired. The body hearts. My neck feel like it's made of broken twigs stapeled together. Still, though... Have to finish this question before I go to sleep. Should work out alright. Just basically got to find quotations to back up what I'm saying.

The Grey Wolves are really amazing right now. Noise, but not so extreme that it hurts. Noise, but not stale and boring. And they got an agenda. An agenda that I really can empathize with. You know the score.

God, if I just had a different economic situation I would contact them right away and ask if I could do some merchandise for them. Just a really limited run. It would be so brilliant.

"and this one time, at band camp..."

Kinda feel like her some times... Never mind.

The forum I was talking about is up and running again, but all the old material is gone. Sad. But a bit catharctic.

Muthafucka!

My favourit internet forum has been banned. It no longer exists. Oh, the angst!





Seriously. I feel really bad. It was a great place.



Anyways. Seems like I've cleared up a lot of time for studying now.



And Death In June really rules supreme right now. More than before, actually. And it's really fun reading about people reactions to Douglas P.'s artistic adventure. Maybe taking an active artistic stance against fascism when using fascist symbolics ain't that interesting from an artistic view point. Makes the art kind of meaningless, and the project kind of pointless.

Anyways. Eff Off.

Philosophy, once again...

Did the same test I did ages ago, but I got a better score, meaning Anal Rand ended up after Freddie N. Unfortunately Hobbes ended up quite low, but I can live with that. Spinoza and Sartre ended up high and thats nice. I have quite a lot of respect for those gentlemen. I don't understand why the stoics and Aristotle got 85% and 72%, though...


1. Jean-Paul Sartre (100%)
2. Stoics (85%)
3. David Hume (84%)
4. Spinoza (74%)
5. Nietzsche (73%)
6. Aristotle (72%)
7. Kant (70%)
8. Aquinas (67%)
9. Epicureans (61%)
10. Ayn Rand (59%)
11. St. Augustine (58%)
12. John Stuart Mill (51%)
13. Ockham (50%)
14. Nel Noddings (49%)
15. Thomas Hobbes (49%)
16. Cynics (48%)
17. Jeremy Bentham (48%)
18. Plato (47%)
19. Prescriptivism (26%)

Centerextremism

Apparently, I am a marxist (according to the PoliticsForum Quiz 2.0 ) To be more specific, what they had to say about me is this:

Overall, the PoliticsForum quiz considers you a internationalist, non-absolutist, controlled-market kind of person, who also seems quite Marxist.

These characteristics would put you in the overall category of Marxist.

Actually always thought of myself as more of an anarchist. One thing that made me pissed of about myself is that I seem very "neither more nor less" this-and-that. That's kind of chicken. Just do the test and you'll understand.


I also did a Moral Politics-quiz and ended up like this:


Your Score

Your scored -4.5 on the Moral Order axis and 5.5 on the Moral Rules axis. (Thats in the top left corner.).


The following items best match your score:

1. System: Socialism
2. Variation: Extreme Socialism
3. Ideologies: International Socialism
4. US Parties: No match.
5. Presidents: Jimmy Carter (75.59%)
6. 2004 Election Candidates: Ralph Nader (79.04%), John Kerry (66.20%), George W. Bush (37.42%)

And this is how I ended up with the Political Compass-quiz (Economic Left/Right: -8.12, Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.31)


Quite the pinko. Not that surprising, but marxist? I'd imagine that I had a bit more of a brown/blackshirt pair of balls than this. But hey, you can't get everyting. Feels pretty good to know that it's just a fascination of aestethics. The whole anti-capitalism stance with the far right, extreme national(social)ism and National Bolshevism gets you confused at times... I guess the only thing that makes us different is the ethnic, chauvinistic and nationalistic aspect.

And on a side note, for eventual swedish fans (I don't know if anyone is even reading this and to be quite frank (you can be ernest) I don't give a toss): Jag hatar ordbögeri, vilken sida ordbögen än står på. Om man känner att det är viktigare att verka klyftig än att faktiskt förmedla kunskap så känns innehavet av en blogg som propagandavapen ganska korkad. Tro det eller ej, men jag hatar fanimej elitism. Nevertheless, it's quite interesting reading, eventhough it reminds me a whole lote of the reviews over at anus.com. Take it anyway you like.