"Here's to you, kid"

I don't think there is any music that so directly, in itself, changes my emotional state than Antony & the Johnsons. Other songs or artists are usually connected to a certain event, but even the Antony-songs isn't, that just got released are really... Heavy. It feels like they are something that I've been listening to for years, with a bottle of cheap scotch and a razor as my only company. Not that it is a bad thing for a song to accomplish. It's just a bit unusual.

Talking about solitary drinking... Some people romanticize drugs, I romanticize alcohol. A bunch of years back when things were fucked up I sometimes went to a specific pub, sat at the bar and drank cheap whiskey. Humphrey Bogart, you know? About a year ago I spent a night at a cemetary drinking 2 bottles of wine (white wine, mind you). Not as much Bogart this time, but still... I'd like to be able to say that my mind and heart matched the surroundings (cold, dead and still) but looking back on it I see that that was when a fire was ignited. Still, the surroundings were fitting.

I have however never used alcohol as a blankie. Not in that direct sense. I do use tobacco (and in a way hunger) that way. And maybe I used music. And maybe something else now.

Someone once said that genius is only genius if it works. If it fails, history will prove it to be madness. Sort of like that.