Christmas makes me sad. I had written a longer post about it, but technology wasn't working in my favour. In short, christmas makes me remember my childhood and what I remember most from my childhood is disappointment, stress and humiliation.
Yeah.
I'm sick and I'm at work. I sort of like pushing myself like this but it doesnt do much for my mental health. I feel sad and alone. Keep rehashing old shit. Nothing new there, though. Spend at least 3 nights a week doing that, not being able to sleep.
I wonder when it was different.
Christmas makes me feel even more alone.
People are just so complicated. Building up their images of stuff, of other people and... It just takes of from there. And you realize how blind they are. How blind you have been. How blind you still must be.
I don't like to have my idols destroyed.
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