Abandon All Hope

I feel depleted. It feels like I have given up. On everything. And I feel like I have such an enormous debt to pay.

I feel highly unsafe. Always. All the time. All I want to do is to feel safe. For just a little while. Have no worries at all. Just feel that it's going to work out.

And this debt thing... I just want to say that I am sorry. For what? I don't know. And it pisses me off. It feels like I'm using people. I feel so incredibly selfish.

I wish I could feel some balance when it comes to my emotions... I wish I knew how to deal with them, but they always comes out in various forms of antisocial behaviour. And this... Writing. It's so hard now. It is taking a heavy toll on my mind and on my soul.

I just feel like I have nothing more to give. Like butter stretched over too much bread, as someone once put it in a film.

Very little feels worth it.