Quo Vadis?

One wonders... One just wants the days to pass and yet there is not enough time in the day to get shit done.

Travelling home from work always give me a slight sense of sorrow. It's not that I am sorry that I can't work any more, it's not that I miss my job. It's something else. A pause or break at an end. Back to something that less and less feels like a home and more and more like... A dung heap. Storage space. Just a place, among countless other places. Maybe I'm scared of actually letting it become my home, seeing how those things ends. Maybe, maybe not. Some day I might investigate that further but not here and not now.

I have, once again, been thinking about people (as always) and my own feelings (as always). A large source of pain for me the past year has been that I have felt cast out. A large part of what was once my life suddenly wasn't and it didn't feel good. But there you have it. Now, a large source of irritation has been people on the fringes (no, some of them has been more. Or rather, I thought that they were.) that just... Complicates things. Somehow they manage to do stuff that just comes back to bite me in the ass. It's kind of strange to deal with since I'm quite out of the loop. But it feels a bit like the die has been cast and all I can do is to wait and see how they land. I don't know when or how they will land but I ain't counting on a ''Yatzy!''-moment.

But it is as it is. I don't really know what else is to be done right now.