I don't understand my application for the university. I'm only allowed to say "yes" to courses for 240 points, but the one that I want to read (and might have been accepted to) is 270 points...
I'm getting so bored with all this bureocratic shit. On he other hand, I don't want to do anything else than study right now.
Fuck! Who'd think it? That I would fail on the the exam question where I really worked hard, but I'd pass on the one where I didn't even read the litterature properly?
And I got to take another exam again in just a couple of weeks but my work wont give me time of to study. Fuckers.
Yeah... Worthless.
Gotta go to work now. I am starting to fucking hate it. For real. I just go there and I feel my soul dying. But it pays quite ok. And I'm good at it. It's just, it used to be fun.
Saw "Letters From Iwo Jima" last night. Really great. See it.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Quetzalcoatl
Just saw Apocalypto. I don't know. The evil injuns where cool. Also the only ones with some depth. Lots of cool scarifications and tattos and shit.
Don't know if it's me or Mel Gibson, but it felt a bit too christian. You know, prophecies and then spaniards and priests showing up in the end. Not that the spaniards where portraid in a positive way (or in any way for that matter). But I don't know... I'm a bit of a sceptic. Felt like there was a lot of surface but not a lot beneath it.
Still, it's an ok movie.
Don't know if it's me or Mel Gibson, but it felt a bit too christian. You know, prophecies and then spaniards and priests showing up in the end. Not that the spaniards where portraid in a positive way (or in any way for that matter). But I don't know... I'm a bit of a sceptic. Felt like there was a lot of surface but not a lot beneath it.
Still, it's an ok movie.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
The World Is My Oyster
I hate oysters.
Feeling a bit blue today. Miss my family. Spent almost a week with them and it was wonderful. Wish I could do it more often. Mostly I wish we lived closer to each other.
I don't know what will happen this fall. Don't know what will happen with school. Don't know what will happen with work. I'm worried.
It will work out. Some how. It always does. I mean, just look at my friend J. There's a man who really should be down and out but always manage to land on his feet (always! I'm amazed.). So it will work itself out. But still. I'm worried. Pain and shit is a part of life and I know that there will most likely be some heavy shit in the future. And it worries me. It all worries me. My gut instinct is to run away from it, to hide from it. But that would go against of a lot of what I stand for. But I am really not a fighter. I don't like challenges. I'm not that sort of person. And that pains me more than anything.
Just the normal pathetic whining you hear from me about once a month. But that is what the internet is for, isn't it?
Watching Hellboy right now. I'm getting a hard on by all the nazi kitsch. Gotta write something about that some day.
Feeling a bit blue today. Miss my family. Spent almost a week with them and it was wonderful. Wish I could do it more often. Mostly I wish we lived closer to each other.
I don't know what will happen this fall. Don't know what will happen with school. Don't know what will happen with work. I'm worried.
It will work out. Some how. It always does. I mean, just look at my friend J. There's a man who really should be down and out but always manage to land on his feet (always! I'm amazed.). So it will work itself out. But still. I'm worried. Pain and shit is a part of life and I know that there will most likely be some heavy shit in the future. And it worries me. It all worries me. My gut instinct is to run away from it, to hide from it. But that would go against of a lot of what I stand for. But I am really not a fighter. I don't like challenges. I'm not that sort of person. And that pains me more than anything.
Just the normal pathetic whining you hear from me about once a month. But that is what the internet is for, isn't it?
Watching Hellboy right now. I'm getting a hard on by all the nazi kitsch. Gotta write something about that some day.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Estetik
Recommended essay about metal shirts and their subcultural importance. I agree with the most point, although the situation in Sweden is obviously different to the one in the US.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The Wind That Shakes The Barley
"If you remove the British Army tomorrow and hoist the green flag over Dublin Castle; unless you organize a socialist republic, all your efforts will be in vain and England will still rule you through our (your? their?) landlords, capitalist and commersial institutions."
Supposedly uttered by James Connolly, 1913.
Still rings true, although the situation is different and the oppressor not as clear.
Supposedly uttered by James Connolly, 1913.
Still rings true, although the situation is different and the oppressor not as clear.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Birthday Party
Got:
2 pairs of boxer shirts. Black & Grey stripes.
1 The Cramps-shirt in excellent size and style.
1 Pocket book cover (pink and with "Bible" written all over the front).
1 Gift Certificate á 500:- at adlibris.
1 Clone-A-Willy.
1 100:- bill.
1 copy of Låt Den Rätte Komma In (brilliant swedish horror.).
1 Cigarette Case in shape of a coffin.
1 pair of Nazi styled riding trousers.
1 beer.
and the pleasure and honour of spending time with friends and loved ones.
Just to bad that some was feeling to bad to show up. As always, my heart goes out to you. Talk to you soon. (ohmygodthecheesehasnoend!)
Hope i didn't forget anyone or anything.
2 pairs of boxer shirts. Black & Grey stripes.
1 The Cramps-shirt in excellent size and style.
1 Pocket book cover (pink and with "Bible" written all over the front).
1 Gift Certificate á 500:- at adlibris.
1 Clone-A-Willy.
1 100:- bill.
1 copy of Låt Den Rätte Komma In (brilliant swedish horror.).
1 Cigarette Case in shape of a coffin.
1 pair of Nazi styled riding trousers.
1 beer.
and the pleasure and honour of spending time with friends and loved ones.
Just to bad that some was feeling to bad to show up. As always, my heart goes out to you. Talk to you soon. (ohmygodthecheesehasnoend!)
Hope i didn't forget anyone or anything.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Feyyadin
It seems that I might be wrong about the events in Britain. Seems like al-Qaida might have been involved anyway. They sure is getting sloppy.
On a side note: 9/11.
People say that it is an impossibility that it was an inside job/false flag-operation, because if you conducted an operation that large information would have to leak out.
1.Basic Black Ops.-knowledge is that everyone is on a 'need to know'-basis. I seriously doubt that all the 19 involved terrorists knew of each other. Hell, I doubt Mohammed Atta knew about the whole scope of the operation. What this means is basically that the available information that could leak out (and that did leak out) was probably kept to an extreme minimum.
2. People seem to imagine that just because this might have been orchestrated by the american administration, it wasn't a genuine attack. Just about everybody involved is/was probably convinced that the where/are a part of an Islamic movement, except 1 or 2 guys somewhere near the American top (I doubt they are a real part of the administration, but I'll bet my ass that they paid a couple of bucks to get the administration where it is)that know what's going on.
Now, I don't believe that 9/11 was an inside job. Why? Because I don't really believe conspiracy theories. It's to neat. My basic belief is that the world isn't run by some sort of organisation. It's 'run' by industrialists and capitalist all over the world just trying to make an extra million. The could take the power over the world if they wanted to, but their greed makes them shortsighted. It's all just one short sighted move after another, and the subsequent move is either to cover an ass or to make som more money. I doubt that anyone in USA helped with 9/11, but I think that what happens now is basically just a way for the american arms industry to justify it's existance. And to make money, of course.
Something else that has annoyed me today are leftist who treat information like propaganda. Moderaterna, the largest party in Sweden isn't fascists or nazis. Sure, the have a bit of a brown history, but that was 60 years ago. The people involved then are dead now. I hate Moderaterna. They are right wing, capitalist-hugging, working class-oppressing, neo-liberal scum fucks. But they ain't nazis. Or fascists. Just because something is right wing doesnt mean that it have anything in common with the extreme right. Just because you want it to be so doesn't make it so. Not that the extremists are that right wing anyway. In a discussion with a fascist (self procclaimed) he described the fascistic economical system as "national socialism", basically meaning a socialism that isn't internationalistic (kind of an impossibility in todays society since capitalism is extremely internationalistic). What makes them right wing extremists is the etnocenthricity, the sexism, the bullshit machismo ("war is to man what maternity is to women" etc.), the anti liberalism and the authoritarianism. I've overheard discussions discussions between communists and members of Blood & Honor, and the only part where they differed is in the attitude towards race, sexism and nationalism. The key difference is that nazism is socialism (and I'm talking about nazism today, mostly) that places the largest emphasis on race. Solidarity with the race instead of class.
Let me make something quite clear: I hate nationalism. Feeling proud to belong to a geograpically defined administrative surface that thinks that it has something in common because the powers that be figured nationalism was a good way to organize people. Fuck off. Same with racism. Stoopid fucking shit. I'll quote a personal hero here (Arne Anka) about the motivating factors behind racism: a feeling of "I can't do anything, I don't know anything, I don't want anything, but my race is the best in the world." White pride? Why should I be proud for being white? I had nothing to do with it. I am proud of my own achievements instead. Because I can.
Something else that is funny: the same person who thought that rightwing=nazi also thought that mandatory service in the army was the basis of oppression of women anf homofobia. Now, I'm sorry, but fags got killed and women oppressed way before 1901, when we got "allmän värnplikt." What I think that you have a beef with is the macho warrior culture that has been dominant since... forever. Men fight, not women. Women get penetrated, not men. That has been coupled with the beliefs that if a man wasn't involved it wasn't really sex and that there wasn't really two sexes. Just men, and unfinished men (=women). And if a man was treated in a way that only women was to be treated (got beaten, had sex done to them instead of from them.) well, then obiously he wasn't really a man. He was unfinished. Like a woman. And we can't have inperfect creatures running around, posing as perfect, now can we? Mandatory service is just a symptom of this, as most organized violence is. I mean, look at the Vatican State. They have a really tiny mercenary army from Switzerland armed with pikes. And they are still quite homophobic and sexist. I'll bet you they are even more homophobic and sexist there than we are here, and still... We have (more or less) mandatory service.
I just hate idiots. I think I hate them even more when they are potentially on my side. Because I expect more. I hate the hypocrisy. We are for free speech and political freedoms and equality and all those cuddly things but nazis shouldn't be allowed to speak their mind. Excuse me?
Fuck off. I hate idiots. And I don't suffer fools.
On a side note: 9/11.
People say that it is an impossibility that it was an inside job/false flag-operation, because if you conducted an operation that large information would have to leak out.
1.Basic Black Ops.-knowledge is that everyone is on a 'need to know'-basis. I seriously doubt that all the 19 involved terrorists knew of each other. Hell, I doubt Mohammed Atta knew about the whole scope of the operation. What this means is basically that the available information that could leak out (and that did leak out) was probably kept to an extreme minimum.
2. People seem to imagine that just because this might have been orchestrated by the american administration, it wasn't a genuine attack. Just about everybody involved is/was probably convinced that the where/are a part of an Islamic movement, except 1 or 2 guys somewhere near the American top (I doubt they are a real part of the administration, but I'll bet my ass that they paid a couple of bucks to get the administration where it is)that know what's going on.
Now, I don't believe that 9/11 was an inside job. Why? Because I don't really believe conspiracy theories. It's to neat. My basic belief is that the world isn't run by some sort of organisation. It's 'run' by industrialists and capitalist all over the world just trying to make an extra million. The could take the power over the world if they wanted to, but their greed makes them shortsighted. It's all just one short sighted move after another, and the subsequent move is either to cover an ass or to make som more money. I doubt that anyone in USA helped with 9/11, but I think that what happens now is basically just a way for the american arms industry to justify it's existance. And to make money, of course.
Something else that has annoyed me today are leftist who treat information like propaganda. Moderaterna, the largest party in Sweden isn't fascists or nazis. Sure, the have a bit of a brown history, but that was 60 years ago. The people involved then are dead now. I hate Moderaterna. They are right wing, capitalist-hugging, working class-oppressing, neo-liberal scum fucks. But they ain't nazis. Or fascists. Just because something is right wing doesnt mean that it have anything in common with the extreme right. Just because you want it to be so doesn't make it so. Not that the extremists are that right wing anyway. In a discussion with a fascist (self procclaimed) he described the fascistic economical system as "national socialism", basically meaning a socialism that isn't internationalistic (kind of an impossibility in todays society since capitalism is extremely internationalistic). What makes them right wing extremists is the etnocenthricity, the sexism, the bullshit machismo ("war is to man what maternity is to women" etc.), the anti liberalism and the authoritarianism. I've overheard discussions discussions between communists and members of Blood & Honor, and the only part where they differed is in the attitude towards race, sexism and nationalism. The key difference is that nazism is socialism (and I'm talking about nazism today, mostly) that places the largest emphasis on race. Solidarity with the race instead of class.
Let me make something quite clear: I hate nationalism. Feeling proud to belong to a geograpically defined administrative surface that thinks that it has something in common because the powers that be figured nationalism was a good way to organize people. Fuck off. Same with racism. Stoopid fucking shit. I'll quote a personal hero here (Arne Anka) about the motivating factors behind racism: a feeling of "I can't do anything, I don't know anything, I don't want anything, but my race is the best in the world." White pride? Why should I be proud for being white? I had nothing to do with it. I am proud of my own achievements instead. Because I can.
Something else that is funny: the same person who thought that rightwing=nazi also thought that mandatory service in the army was the basis of oppression of women anf homofobia. Now, I'm sorry, but fags got killed and women oppressed way before 1901, when we got "allmän värnplikt." What I think that you have a beef with is the macho warrior culture that has been dominant since... forever. Men fight, not women. Women get penetrated, not men. That has been coupled with the beliefs that if a man wasn't involved it wasn't really sex and that there wasn't really two sexes. Just men, and unfinished men (=women). And if a man was treated in a way that only women was to be treated (got beaten, had sex done to them instead of from them.) well, then obiously he wasn't really a man. He was unfinished. Like a woman. And we can't have inperfect creatures running around, posing as perfect, now can we? Mandatory service is just a symptom of this, as most organized violence is. I mean, look at the Vatican State. They have a really tiny mercenary army from Switzerland armed with pikes. And they are still quite homophobic and sexist. I'll bet you they are even more homophobic and sexist there than we are here, and still... We have (more or less) mandatory service.
I just hate idiots. I think I hate them even more when they are potentially on my side. Because I expect more. I hate the hypocrisy. We are for free speech and political freedoms and equality and all those cuddly things but nazis shouldn't be allowed to speak their mind. Excuse me?
Fuck off. I hate idiots. And I don't suffer fools.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Summertime Blues
Yeah. My Baby left today. Not forever, but for a week. Can't sleep alone. Or to be more precise, I have a problem with going to sleep alone. Doesn't seem to be a reason to go to sleep when you are alone. Especially when you don't have anything to get up to in the mornings.
But I'll guess it will workitself out. It always does, somehow.
Met up with friends S & J today. Real nice. Spent a couple of hours wandering about town and eating and stuff. But I have the same problem I always have with people. I feel like I take up too much time and space. I always end up holding a lecture about something to people, and you don't reallt want to lecture your friends, even when it's about something silly like japanese nationalism and stuff like that. Plus, I think that S needs the space and attention right now. She doesn't seem to feel that good these days. And I think I understand why. But I don't know how to bring it up. And I don't want to bring it up when we are not alone. Still, it was a good day.
On another note: don't you feel that the al-Qaida panic in the UK is a bit... I mean, if it was al-Qaida planting these car bombs and stuff, they have become very clumsy. Think about it: when they do things they are brilliantly planned, quite complicated (like setting of charges at different times for maximum effect) tactical works of terrorist art. Someone setting a car on fire and rolling (or the other way around) it into an airport... Feels like the little league.
And how fitting isn't it that CIA just happened to find a Hizbollah-member amongst iraqi prisoners, who supposedly was in Irag on Irans mission, training Shia militias to kill american soldiers? Yeah, right. I mean, I have no doubt that Iran are supporting Shia militias in Irag (because Irans supports Shias everywhere), but I seriously doubt that they are actively encouraging these supportees to attack americans. Sure, they are religious fanatics, but the thing that people don't think about is the fact that they are pragmatic religious fanatics. And giving the US of A more of a reason to invade, or be otherwise aggressive... Naah. I mean, it's not like they are getting nukes because they want to blow up the world for Allah. They are doing it to get attention. Remember that the USA don acknowledge Iran as a legitimate state and regional power. Iran has previously promised to help transform both Hamas and Hizbollah to strictly poliical and social organisations in exchange for western recognition. But the US wouldn't give them that. Plus they started drawing up battle plans by throwing dart on a map of the middle east. And Iran has extrememly severe economical problems. So the nuclear program is basically a way for Iran to force the west to communicate with them directly (and it works), to tell the US to stay tha fuck away and to gather the people against a common enemy (Israel and the US. And it works) to take their minds of the fact that the live in an economical dung heap. I'm not saying that they aren't dangerous. I'm not saying that I support the regime. I'm just saying that they ain't insane.
Interesting little bit of fact: did you know that Iran had troops in Afghanistan fighting the taliban long before the US or any other western force?
But I'll guess it will workitself out. It always does, somehow.
Met up with friends S & J today. Real nice. Spent a couple of hours wandering about town and eating and stuff. But I have the same problem I always have with people. I feel like I take up too much time and space. I always end up holding a lecture about something to people, and you don't reallt want to lecture your friends, even when it's about something silly like japanese nationalism and stuff like that. Plus, I think that S needs the space and attention right now. She doesn't seem to feel that good these days. And I think I understand why. But I don't know how to bring it up. And I don't want to bring it up when we are not alone. Still, it was a good day.
On another note: don't you feel that the al-Qaida panic in the UK is a bit... I mean, if it was al-Qaida planting these car bombs and stuff, they have become very clumsy. Think about it: when they do things they are brilliantly planned, quite complicated (like setting of charges at different times for maximum effect) tactical works of terrorist art. Someone setting a car on fire and rolling (or the other way around) it into an airport... Feels like the little league.
And how fitting isn't it that CIA just happened to find a Hizbollah-member amongst iraqi prisoners, who supposedly was in Irag on Irans mission, training Shia militias to kill american soldiers? Yeah, right. I mean, I have no doubt that Iran are supporting Shia militias in Irag (because Irans supports Shias everywhere), but I seriously doubt that they are actively encouraging these supportees to attack americans. Sure, they are religious fanatics, but the thing that people don't think about is the fact that they are pragmatic religious fanatics. And giving the US of A more of a reason to invade, or be otherwise aggressive... Naah. I mean, it's not like they are getting nukes because they want to blow up the world for Allah. They are doing it to get attention. Remember that the USA don acknowledge Iran as a legitimate state and regional power. Iran has previously promised to help transform both Hamas and Hizbollah to strictly poliical and social organisations in exchange for western recognition. But the US wouldn't give them that. Plus they started drawing up battle plans by throwing dart on a map of the middle east. And Iran has extrememly severe economical problems. So the nuclear program is basically a way for Iran to force the west to communicate with them directly (and it works), to tell the US to stay tha fuck away and to gather the people against a common enemy (Israel and the US. And it works) to take their minds of the fact that the live in an economical dung heap. I'm not saying that they aren't dangerous. I'm not saying that I support the regime. I'm just saying that they ain't insane.
Interesting little bit of fact: did you know that Iran had troops in Afghanistan fighting the taliban long before the US or any other western force?
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