I just want to get it over with. Get it out of me. Just get over it totally. Completely. Everything. And just start anew. But I can't. And I don't feel like it's fair. I don't know if I'll be able to treat people fairly, to treat people the way they deserve when my mind is just boundcing of mental walls all the time.
And I'm so fucking angry at the whole world right now. I'm on the brink of getting into fights all the time. I am, very fast, moving towards the point that I don't want to return to. And I don't know what to do.
It's almost like a fucking mental plague. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to be this way. Always confrontational, even more than necessary, just because offence is the best defence. And I'm just... I have nothing. I'm as closed up as ever I was. I can't reach into those parts of my soul anymore. And I'm proud. Maybe too proud.
The thought of the fact that this is a process that will last me my whole life is scaring me something fierce.
I hate people.
I hate the human race.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment