Rapture

My door. That's nice. It's actually mine.

Had a nice birthday. ONLY good people there. Good bands. Cheap alcohol. Hardly any hangover. Just some form of melancholia. I feel empty. I haven't even left the apartment all day except to buy pizza and smokes. And I haven't done anything besides that and listening to music. Lethargy. Great night, though. I don't think I have been so filled with life and actually joy in a long time.

I feel pissed off. I just want to say ''fuck off'' to the whole world.

I can't stand people. Just a few of them (and they really matter), but otherwise... They make me nauseous. My mind just want to throw up and I just want to go into hiding. And now I have somewhere to hide. Again.

I have no TV. I have no internet connection. I have no stereo. I hardly have any books. My movies and records are still in boxes. I have nothing to keep me busy but my own mind. And what a demon it is. But it is also nice, in some way. Nothing to distract me.

I wish I could do more for my friends. I wish I had the guts to do more.