AGAINST

I spent a lot of time outside today. It was raining. Quite cold. Made me feel alive. Stockholms is so grey and dreary now. People shuffling about. Noone smiling. Homeless people trying to keep dry and warm. People smelling like wet dogs, dripping. In the way.

Ain't nothing out there for me. Never was. Never is. Thought ther might be, once. Belong. Nice to have illusions. Against the world (once) Like a pack of wolves. Proud. Fierce. Independant. No (.) sheep. Against. Against against against.

Weak. Too weak. Everything. Weak. Everywhere.

Point? What?

In the dark. Everyone? Everywhere.


I wish for pain. All day I have wished for pain.
Physical manifestation. Punishment? Sacrifice. Sacrifice.

Blind. Interesting. Always been, but you don't see it until you see. And I am talking generally here. Why can't I see when I have to?

Cowardice. Fear. Guilt. I should be slapped.

Everything is goodbye.

Not a part. Of this or of everything. Noone opens.


And on a stranger note, sex has become very important. Not the act, but the thought. Not so strange really. But none of your business.