Kisses

The thing that really makes me annoyed with myself was that I felt pretty good for most of last week. Strong. Brave. Facing the future. Keeping my back straight.

But it takes so little to push me down. To push me back. So little. I feel like the proverbial camel.

I really have a problem with people these days. I'm starting to feel like I should move to another city. But then I would have nothing. On the other hand, maybe that is what I need.

I'm so tired of feeling like this. It breaks me down and spit me out every fucking time.

There´s so much of me missing. And nothing to replace it. That's the difference. And soon I'll be in the deep end.

But I guess it'll work out. It always does, one way or the other. Maybe not in a good way, but in some way. It's just so hard to make something constructive of this when I feel my whole soul just curling up like a viper poised to attack. I don't want that, but that's what's happening to me.