And I can just see some things all to well now. Episodes when I just should have stood up and said "what the fuck is the problem!?" and just take the fight. If nothing else for my own sake. But I didn't. Instead I just swallowed it. And kept swallowing. Drove me back. Crept back into my corner. Into myself. Because you don't let them see what they have accomplished.
I remember numerous of these times when I remember feeling that "I should fight back or leave. Just show her that I'm not OK with this." But I didn't. Reflex? Cowardice? Does it matter? Plus, I am kind of used to things being my fault. To me deserving it.
And I can't honestly say that I would do it differently today.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment