So I saw Nifelheim yesterday. Great, as always. It made me happy to be there, in a fucking youth center, just filled with cool people. With friends. Family, almost. Some of them. I just felt like I knew what I was doing. And at the same time I wasn't at home. But I couldn't think of where ever I else could be at home. It was more like meeting an old friend, or something.
I don't know. I had fun.
I got a kind of hard decision ahead of me. It's hard, because it is saying no to something I want. But I don't know if I have the strength.
Anyways, I'm going to see Degial and Dismember tonight. And then I don't know what will happen. With my life.
I'm just... I don't know if I care anymore. I am inches away from just saying "fuck it" and willingly crawl back into my shell because I just cant feel more. It's breaking me apart. I can hardly work, you know?
To often I am faced with the question of "what have I done to myself?" Both in a rethorical way and in a straight forward way. I'm... I don't get it. How can you be so blind?
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