At it again

I can't let it loose anymore. I can't relax enough anywhere or with anyone. I just can't let the tempest of emotions loose anymore. I feel like no one understands me enough to just be able to take all that. And those who do... Well, I don't feel like I can put anymore on their shoulders. I desperately want to. I miss it. I miss falling into someones arms and just cry and let it out without feeling like I'm imposing or like I'm going to get judged. It's so hard. So hard to say these things out loud to people that have nothing to do with this situation. To admit what you feel and why you feel it.

Today is a bad night. Tonight is going to be a bad night. I just want to cry and scream and yell and tear the hair from my head and the flesh from my bones. I hate feeling this hopeless.

I miss it. I hate it.