Saturday, March 8, 2008

Onwards Christian Soldier

I just don't feel at home anywhere. I mean that in the broadest sense. I rarely feel that I can go to a club or a café or anything and feel that everyone there doesn't view me as being totally out of place. I always feel that I get that "what is HE doing here"-look.

Just barely tolerated. I always hear the snickering behind my back.

And some days that's OK. I know that they do it because they just don't GET IT. And most other days I just wonder what's wrong with me. What I've done to deserve this.

I don't even think it is happening. It is probably just my imagination. But the feeling is real.

How could I let anyone know things like this when I hardly could admit them to myself? How can you admit to anyone that you loathe yourself?

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