Left out

I'm feeling like I'm missing something all the time. Like I'm watching the world through different medias and the people are all talking to each other and yelling and I'm just wondering "what is going on? What am I missing?" It seems important to them, but yesterday I got the notion that the world is of bad quality, so I don't know... I don't know if people are lying to themselves and find joy in small, meaningless things just so they won't end up like me, or if I am the one who is fooled.

I'm starting to think it is option number 2.

Or maybe I just don't see them properly.

I just don't get it.

God, I want to be a beautiful soul. A beautiful person. I want to drop all this macho bullshit, all these expectations from everywhere, all this hate and anger and feeling of being less worth and just be a Good Human Being.

And I wish I could just get rid of this constant feeling of being found out, of being exposed. Of missing some detail that will show the world just exactely who I am. Who I think I am.

No, time to get dressed. The day is about to start. Unfortunately.


Oh, and I need tips. I like these shoes, or maybe rather the idea of these shoes. But does anyone have any options, alternatives or the like? Do? Don't? Opinions? There's something with them that doesn't really fit with me...