Nice!

So, I had some dinner and some wine with good friends the other night. It was really really nice, even though I rarely feel at home among people (even my friends). The problem, however, is this: I had a totally chaotic sleep at night. I thought that getting drunk would make it no problem to fall asleep and stay asleep, but I had a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. Or I was dreming that I couldn't fall asleep. It was a really strange night filled with a lot of strange dreams and semi dreams. Not really unpleasant ones, just strange. Felt like the alcohol just brought them up because it had removed some kind of block between my mind and my imagination.

And my libido is more or less through the roof. At least it feels like it. But it is so strange. Porn does absolutly nothing for me now. Sasha Grey could come over and want to fuck me and I don't think I would get it up. Neither does anything else. I see boobs and ass everywhere and it just doesn't do anything. And at the same time I am horny as hell. Now, I know I can get very horny when depressed, but at least then there is some sort of sexual thought involved. I don't know what this is.


It feels like I have worn out my mind, somehow.